I still retain a lot of that standard dork feeling of omg-confused-anthropologist-amongst-the-n
However, with my anthropologist hat on, based on my experience, I can tell you this:
The upstage is this place, see. They play 80s music there, when it is a thursday night. You are liable to be approached by one of the most physically attractive girls you have ever met in pittsburgh, (your only connection to her being that you played the piano in a coffeeshop where she worked, three years ago) and she will be all "hey! hi! how's it going!" and engaging you in conversation. She will not be single, and will emphasize how much she likes drinking and smoking a lot (meaning that it's just sort of amusing to watch the one part of my brain go like this female is very symmetric and healthy, she will make fine babies while the remaining parts arelike a ha hahaha whatever, lizard-brain) but she will tell you how to say "fucking in the kitchen" in Dutch, (something like "neuken in de keuken" as far as I remember, but it was very loud) a language she hopes to study more based on her existing knowledge of German. It will seem very important to her that you drink some drink, and she will find it strange and hilarious that you decline it, and indeed a veritable laugh riot that there are people in the world who just don't drink, that aren't like recovering alcoholics trying to stay on the wagon or something like that. Later, your friends will then insist you come out on the dance floor, and it will turn out to be kinda fun after all.