I decided to try a sub at the Jimmy John's on Forbes. Turns out it's just kinda like Subway, only they don't try to have fancy bread. Nothing incredibly wrong with the sandwich, but it was just sort of bleah and dry. All day after that I felt like I needed some kind of sub-related redemption, so dinner was at Uncle Sam's, which was unspeakably satisfying by comparison. It was like food itself was being reinvented in my own mouth.
Summary: I don't really understand why anyone eats at Subway in this city, and now I also don't understand why anyone eats at Jimmy John's.