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Jason

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[Apr. 26th, 2005|11:57 pm]
Jason
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Also, a terrifically bad math joke, right up there with "abelian grape" and "zorn's lemon" and "the bananach-tarski paradox", due I think to lincoln3:

What has a long neck and comes in four colors? A planar giraffe.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: rjmccall
2005-04-27 04:47 am (UTC)
What's large, gray, and soulless? An elephaust!
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[User Picture]From: ywong
2005-04-27 05:52 am (UTC)
Wait a minute...that didn't have anything to do with math at all!
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[User Picture]From: rjmccall
2005-04-27 01:59 pm (UTC)
Eek! Destroy it forever!

What's separable, locally Euclidean, and has killed over fourteen people? Manifold Lecter!
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2005-04-27 02:34 pm (UTC)
What is inarticulate and locally approximates the set of linear functionals on vectors tangent to a space? The cotangent mumble!
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[User Picture]From: r_transpose_p
2005-04-27 05:13 am (UTC)
What did the mathematician conclude about scatology?

It sometimes entailed THE LIPSCHITZ CONDITION!!!
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[User Picture]From: skamille
2005-04-27 02:27 pm (UTC)
You just like that one because you made it up.
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From: rdore
2005-04-27 06:56 am (UTC)
How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.
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[User Picture]From: krasnoludek
2005-04-27 01:03 pm (UTC)
That is DISGUSTING.
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From: rdore
2005-04-27 03:49 pm (UTC)
Heh. You have Anton to thank. I stole it from him.
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[User Picture]From: krasnoludek
2005-04-27 01:03 pm (UTC)
What are graph theorists made of?

Graphite
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[User Picture]From: susancalvin
2005-04-27 03:15 pm (UTC)
I don't understand your joke. But then, the extent of my math jokes begins and ends with:

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape?

Elephant grape sine theta, of course.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?

You can't, because a mountain climber is a scalar.
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2005-04-27 03:38 pm (UTC)
It's a pun on "planar graph", referring to the 4-color theorem.

Here's another trig one:

You go up to someone and ask them, hey, do you know anything about astrology? (They say, uh, sure?) What's the sign of the lion? you ask. (Leo) What's the sign of the bull? (Taurus) What's the sign of two fish? (Pisces) You roll your eyes. No, Two sine fish cosine fish!
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From: rdore
2005-04-27 08:12 pm (UTC)

Not a pun

What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted one?

The extroverted one looks at your shoes when talking to you.
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[User Picture]From: krasnoludek
2005-04-28 12:17 am (UTC)

Re: Not a pun

emphasis on your.
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[User Picture]From: angharad
2005-04-27 11:26 pm (UTC)
I keep thinking I'll work up a set of Piano Axioms someday.
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[User Picture]From: krasnoludek
2005-04-28 12:20 am (UTC)

Peano's Arithmetic

Avi (bastetsguardian) and I were walking around CMU one day and came across a sign saying simply "Piano models on display", with an arrow. We jokingly thought of going to the location and asking them if they had any nonstandard models.
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[User Picture]From: techstep
2005-04-28 05:24 pm (UTC)
What's the setup for the "Bananach-Tarski paradox" joke?
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[User Picture]From: krasnoludek
2005-04-28 08:27 pm (UTC)
Don't know the "Bananach-Tarski paradox" joke jcreed mentioned, but here's another Banach-Tarski paradox joke, courtesy of Janak:

What's an anagram of "Banach-Tarski paradox"?

Banach-Tarski paradox Banach-Tarski paradox.
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2005-04-28 10:34 pm (UTC)
Heh, nice.
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2005-04-28 10:33 pm (UTC)
What do you call a yellow fruit that can be rearranged into two yellow fruits?
A Bananach-Tarski paradox.

What's an sufficient alternative punchline to the same joke?
Zorn's Lemon.
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