Jason (jcreed) wrote,

Tonight I went to a party and immediately felt the awful gut-wrenching wave of social anxiety I occasionally get at parties, usually after being at them for a couple hours, and then I somehow mentally pulled myself out of it, and talked to people for a while. That was a good feeling, feeling some agency and shit.

As many times as it's happened to me, and as many times as I've heard other people describe the same sort of thing, it's still fascinates me that one can have that extended moment that's so intensely misanthropic on the one hand, and so lonely on the other: "omg I hate people they're so impossible to deal with" at the same time as "omg I need someone I am so motherfucking lonely".

I don't know what the point is of plunging into this nonsense again, but hey, this is livejournal after all, the bustling downtown of mope city.
Tags: angst, memorable, social

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