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Up With Which I Will Not... Stood [Nov. 1st, 2004|06:13 pm]
The girl plain didn't show up as scheduled. Too bad. I still had a fine lunch. Disappointing, but strangely not terribly discouraging. I guess some amount of the precious and useful "eh, whatever, just see what happens" attitude that possessed me to ask her out in the first place is still with me.

[User Picture]From: nwhitehe
2004-11-01 04:09 pm (UTC)
That's incredibly rude of her. Unfortunately such behavior is depressingly common in modern society. I just want to scream at these types of people, "Didn't your parents teach you manners?" Nevermind the basic disrespect of other's time and energy.
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[User Picture]From: bhudson
2004-11-01 04:21 pm (UTC)
Come now; men and women both got stood up with startling regularity back in Shakespeare's times. She probably got visited by some faeries or somesuch.
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[User Picture]From: amuzulo
2004-11-01 07:42 pm (UTC)
Nah, she probably had to paint her grandmother's house. At least, I will remember this is the reason my first crush had when she turned me down ... *sigh*

But, this weekend, I'm going to hang out for a bit with someone who was called a whore by Rush Limbaugh on national television because of an article she wrote for her college newspaper. Oh how times change. :)
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2004-11-01 05:03 pm (UTC)
I prefer not to jump to conclusions. I have no idea whether she had a good justification or not, whether she is "that type" of person or someone who engaged perhaps in assholish behavior just this once, (not that I'm even assuming assholishness is occurring in the first place!) or felt mountains of remorse at wasting five minutes of mine as I waited a little before actually ordering my food as I would have anyway if no arrangements had been made.
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[User Picture]From: keithlard
2004-11-02 02:28 am (UTC)
I think that's smart, I have a saying that you can't assume anything from nothing.

So if you don't hear from someone when you expected to, or you call someone and you can't get hold of them, you can't really assume that they hate you, or that they've gone to the Moon. As in this case there might be some fairly reasonable excuse, HOWEVER it is polite to let someone know if you can't make an appointment (frown).

But anyway, what the hell, right? It's not like we haven't got other thing to do than dance attendance on fickle gurls :D
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From: mmia
2004-11-02 06:25 pm (UTC)
I agree, not that it's a modern phenomenon, nor that modernity is any excuse. I don't think that being mega-busy exempts one from sending notice about her absense. Not showing up to an appointment communicates that one plainly does not care about the other party, and does not care how they appear to the other party, thereby indicating lack of self-respect- at least on some level. If someone doesn't respect herself or me, I wouldn't want to be around her.
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[User Picture]From: techstep
2004-11-01 04:13 pm (UTC)
That sounded like a sizable chunk of my dating experiences over the past few years.

Rather sucks, that.
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2004-11-01 05:07 pm (UTC)

Due to the fact that I essentially, like, ask nobody out ever, this is the first time that I actually feel officially stood up. So the amusing-milestoneness of it is reducing the already minimal bad feelings even further.
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[User Picture]From: susancalvin
2004-11-01 04:20 pm (UTC)
"eh, whatever, just see what happens" sounds remarkably similar to my current dating philosophy, which I call, "what do I have to lose?"

It sucks that your girl didn't show up, but as was the case with my terribly awkward coffee date, you can then just put it out of your mind without any more "what if"'s.
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2004-11-01 05:04 pm (UTC)
similar indeed, but I like your phrasing even better. The things I worry about most as "lose situations" in dating are basically self-imposed, and I think I'm finally beginning to learn to stop imposing them.
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[User Picture]From: ywong
2004-11-01 09:29 pm (UTC)
There's actually a tactic to save face in this situation. You write to her and tell her "Sorry I was late to our date. I arrived X minutes late and you weren't around. If you can forgive me, I'd be willing to go out again."
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[User Picture]From: jcreed
2004-11-01 10:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, but apologizing is a tactic of the WEAK.

She did actually just email me back, and is apparently just mega-busy, such that things are spontaneously appearing in her schedule like so many virulent weeds. So theoretically we're back on for something later this week, which is just as well, since I'm mega-busy with TAing work to be done at least until then.
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From: spillourguts
2004-11-02 08:12 pm (UTC)
i've used that one, it's solid.
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