Had a good phone conversation with my mom tonight. The religion issue still is kind of a wedge between us, (just as the head-in-the-clouds academic vs. driven entrepreneur difference keeps me at arm's length from my dad's worldview) but talking about her experience raising me and my sisters was interesting. It's weird, as much as I like to joke about hundreds of babies flying about, that I'm smack in the middle of a bunch of peers who are now holding down jobs and buying houses and having kids.
Another part of the conversation involved asserting my right --- which I found rather strange that I should be in a position to need to --- to not feel hurt or offended by my dad's christmas planning, and asking that my mom not feel offended on my behalf. It was a good thing to get off my chest. My folks are divorced, and my dad likes to spend christmas in florida instead of in wisconsin: not really so strange considering the weather. This year it works out such that either I arrange two sub-vacations within my christmas vacation, which is a pain in the ass, or else I see my dad for only four or five days after he gets back on like the 4th of january. I've pretty much committed to the latter option. My mom was like, "oh dear, well, if I were him I wouldn't make such decisions that make it inconvenient for you kids to visit both of us," but you know what? I understand simple things like preferring warmer weather. I don't feel slighted that the family-togetherness time of christmas has suddenly been violated, because it's been in a constant state of violation for ten years now. I've gotten over it. I know both of my parents love me, and I love them, and I just don't care that much anymore about all this scheduling bullshit. I don't care precisely how many days I see them. I cared a lot about it for a long time, and it stressed me out to no end. I do like to see them, but fuck the details. Dad wants to go to florida, I don't care to, I'll see him in wisconsin, and that's that. It's about travel and schedules and convenience, and not about which parent loves the kids more faithfully, or, even worse, about which parent the kids like better. No more of that shit. I've had more than enough.