What would it look like to translate this article into Eprime?
About the article's list of "acceptable" words at the end: "spunkless" certainly has a sexual reading, "doormat" I've heard used to refer to promiscuous women, "jerk" of course calls to mind "jerkoff", (both noun and verb) "boor" with some effort could be construed as offensive to farmers, "oaf" to the congenitally mentally handicapped, "myrmidon" came into the world as nothing less than an essentialist ethnic insult, "brown-noser" and "ass-kisser" have got to be at least as homophobic as "asshole", calling someone a "flunkey" or "lackey" is arguably similar to calling someone "slave", or even, in the right context, "boy" or "girl".