Finally got around to seriously proofreading this paper I'm supposed to be working on. I keep telling myself that I ought to remember that I like this stuff, but it's not very effective. I really don't like this project much anymore. It's not just that it's hard, it's a mess. It's gross and disorganized, and it has little pointy bits sticking out at all angles, and I don't see any way of making it not. Anyway, I found a bunch of silly little errors, and was not totally unsuccessful at paging back in some large swaths of ideas contained in it. Still so hard to fight off the disgust and despair.
In the meantime I will keep dreaming of that blessed future day when purely formal, mechanized proof composition and checking is practical and convenient, and I will never have to feel this horrible, sinking lack of confidence in sprawling manual proofs again.