Jason (jcreed) wrote,
Jason
jcreed

Arg, feeling more sickish again.

Spilled a little coke on the laptop keyboard. Hope it'll be okay.

I was feeling kind of depressed earlier today, and for the hell of it, tried as a wacky mental exercise to fill my thoughts with pairs of propositions that contradicted each other. So I was sitting in the bus thinking like "IamhappyIamfeelinglikecrap- ThatisapersonthereThatisnotapersonthere- ThisbusisgoingforwardThisbusismovingbackward" etc. This being vaguely rationalized by the fact that I notice myself normally reaffirming repeatedly the fact that I feel like crap when I do, and asserting over and over again that I feel good when I don't doesn't wark because it feels too phony. But by focussing on trying to think of things to consecutively assert and deny, as fast and as continuously as possible, I wound up just feeling compelled to laugh at all the ridiculous things I was thinking. Which improved my mood immensely.

Also sent a certain email, whose consequences I await amusedly. I feel like I have learned a lot about people in the last six months. I hope to be able to apply some of this information.
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