Jason (jcreed) wrote,

Woo boy. Had another pretty intense episode of who-the-fuck-am-I-kidding-I'm-not-really-cut- out-for-grad school there. This databases homework really violently reminded me how little tolerance I have left for tedious programming. Or maybe just programming, period. I hope not the latter. I did a half-ass job of it, just to call it done. Ugh ugh ugh.

lincoln3 made a comment about it earlier today that ringed true: I'm not terribly good at lying for any length of time, and a fortiori I can't easily lie to myself in the sense of temporarily believing that I need to accomplish something that, deep down in my guts, I believe is a stupid, worthless task.

So I guess the big picture is, I really do want a legit research job of some kind, that involves me being able to choose what I want to work on to some degree, and a PhD seems like its the hoop I need to jump through to achieve that, so I really better quit my whining and get back on track.

Just gotta keep my eyes focussed on this summer.

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