I "tried" cooking a simple scrambled egg to give it a "I actually know this is going to fail" sort of initial test run, and it did utterly fail. A mass of burnt butter and burnt egg.
Somewhat surprisingly, the second attempt yielded results both fluffy and delicious. Internet advice insisted that you are supposed to wait a certain amount of time before pushing the egg around, but somehow it got to the stage depicted by their "wait until it looks like this" pictures in a matter of seconds. Maybe I just had it on super high heat, but it was at the middle of the dial. Dunno how "low heat", "medium heat", "high heat" mean much of anything consistently across different people's stoves anyhow but I'm sure I'm not the first to observe that.
Anyway, tossing some eggs, butter, and a bit of milk into a hot iron thing yielded Tasty Food. Hopefully I will not soon get sick from rust poisoning, salmonella, or rancid butter from improper cleaning. Barring that, I'll next attempt the dish that was the major ulterior motive for having this thing: it is just about the right size I think for a single-serv version of the one ever-so-slightly-nontrivial recipe I've always been able to manage well, namely Dutch Baby.