The chords go like
Ab Dbsus2 Ab Dbsus2 Ab Dbsus2 [Gb Dbsus2] Ab (x2)
Fm C Db Ab Fm C Db Eb Eb
(Dbsus2 = 446644, but Db = 9 11 11 10 9 9)
bass drum = non-binding side of telephone book
snare drum = sheet of paper
Still looking for things that function like analogues of closed hat and any sort of cymbal. Cymbals are weird things. Not as many household objects resonate that way.